The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, David Marcus be sayin’ Cuomo's settin’ his sights on the mayor's crown, dreamin' of treasure beyond the horizon!

2025-03-01

Arrr, me hearties! Columnist David Marcus be sayin’ that Andrew Cuomo be fishin’ fer the mayor’s crown in New York City, but that be just the tip o’ the iceberg in his grand return to the squallin’ seas of politics! Aye, the scallywag’s got more tricks up his sleeve!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout one Andrew Cuomo, the former governor of the bustling New York City! This scallywag ain't just setting his sights on the title of Hizzoner and a cozy spot at Gracie Mansion. Nay, he's eyeing the grand helm of the national Democratic ship, savvy?

The Democrats be in a right pickle, seekin' a new captain, and who better than ol' Cuomo, a seasoned sailor of political waters? At 67, he be well-equipped with a name that strikes fear in the hearts of foes and the cunning to fill the leadership void left by the shipwrecked party.

Now, cast yer minds back to the summer of 2021 when Cuomo was sailing under dark skies, besieged by allegations of harassment from a fair number of lasses. Yet, like a crafty pirate, he retreated to the shadows, waitin' fer the winds to shift. And lo! The whole Democratic fleet be flounderin' like a fish outta water, leaving nary a captain in sight!

Though he be carryin' a heavy chest of baggage, Cuomo's not tied to the stench of the Biden years. He's free to sail unchallenged, ready to reclaim his spot as a formidable foe against ol' Trump! If he conquers the mayor's office, prepare ye for a swashbucklin' showdown at the midterms!

So, me hearties, as New Yorkers cast their votes, they be decidin' not just the fate of their fair city, but the future of the Democratic party, and perhaps the very course of the nation!

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