"Avast ye scallywags! The woke be like a cursed parrot squawkin' for more rum and plunder at all hours!"
2024-03-11
Arrr, me hearties! This extra hour o' daylight be bringin' more trouble than a scurvy dog on the high seas! Heart attacks, accidents, and injuries be on the rise! And tryin' to roust yer scallywag out o' bed earlier be like tryin' to catch a slippery fish with a hook! Aye, 'tis a tough time indeed!
The one unifying principle of woke ideologies is that your pain and suffering in compliance with their agenda doesn’t matter.But for a historical perspective of bullying from the bully pulpit, look no further than the ongoing agony of daylight savings time, an idea as old as Benjamin Franklin and as new as the heavy-handed alleged abuse of discretion of New York’s Letitia James.But first to Ben, who, as a cost-saving measure (the price of candles and lamp oil really adds up), suggested to the citizens of Paris that moving the clock up in summer would save money. In a satirical article, he noted that while they rarely rose early in the day, Parisians would benefit from more sunshine… while joking that taxes could punish those inclined to sleep in.Some people can’t take a joke, and in 1918, as a World War I response, "war time" came into being with the signature of President Woodrow Wilson. It was supposed to be temporary… it came back.That extra hour of sunshine – for the early risers – comes with "a 24% increase in heart attacks on the Monday following the switch to daylight saving time," or that an average rate of fatal automobile accidents increases by 6% nationwide or that "there were 3.6 more (workplace) injuries on the Mondays" following the feckless change up.Nothing is stopping the sunshine enthusiast from setting their own clock to rise earlier and enjoy the Vitamin D. And yet, the nanny state reaches into every home, with a disapproving tone, insisting that it will be good for you to get up.Speaking of what’s good for you, New York state Attorney General Letitia James really doesn’t like beef, so she’s taking a break from policing a loan President Trump repaid, to go after JBS USA Food Co, filing a 38-page legal complaint that is "a rant against beef." So, New Yorkers, eat more chicken?The New York Post notes that she "accuses JBS of fraud for telling New York consumers the company aspires to achieve "Net Zero by 2040" – net zero is a bureaucratic way of saying you’ll suck out as much "emissions" from the atmosphere as you put in… does this count for political hot air? Can we include campaign promises in the hot air in, hot air out mix?She doesn’t believe their public relations. Now there’s a slippery slope for all of the Mad Men (and women) of Manhattan. Advertisers of the world, unite! If New York is prosecuting nonsensical promises in annual reports, nobody is safe.Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook fame, for example, says his goals include giving "people a voice to get a diversity of opinions"… "to make the world more open and connected," which is really hard to accomplish when you block the people who think differently.But at least on the environment, there is a get-out-of-woke-free pathway. If you’re rich enough, you can pay a carbon offset tax to Washington, D.C., because everybody knows that taxes clean the air, though the smug smog floating over the former swamp really can be hard to take.If cows pony up, hamburger will be saved.The Woke Halls of Fame seem to reside in our institution of higher education… long on ideology and often short on value for the dollar. Harvard University, for example, offers classes on "Queering Education," "Black Radicalism" and sexual fetishes, always useful on a resume.As long as we’re evaluating false promises, let’s start with recruiters who con starry-eyed students out of hundreds of thousands of dollars with the promise that a major in pottery and a minor in interpretive dance leads to a career.It’s career abuse to convince teenagers that there is a fictional world in which a student’s actual skills, attitude, and job performance don’t matter, as long as they feel affirmed. Tell that to your future employer. (Interestingly, those professors don’t want to be paid in gold stars and participation trophies. They want cash.)When will we acknowledge that a noble sounding excuse for social engineering doesn’t justify chaos. You want sunshine, set your alarm. You hate beef, get a salad. You want to be a teacher, offer some skills.When someone else’s pet peeves demand the rest of us to change, it’s time to say no.