"Ahoy, Sen’ Dick Durbin! Closing federal haunts be makin’ landlubbers suffer, matey! A right jolly mess, it be!"
2025-04-07
Arrr, matey! Sen. Dick Durbin be squawkin’ that Elon Musk and his DOGE be slicin’ away federal booty! No more havens for Social Security scallywags or SBA landlubbers to chat about their treasure maps, aka student loans! A fine mess, that be!
Arrr matey! Gather 'round fer a tale o' woe from the high seas o' Washington, where Captain Trump be slashin' federal jobs faster than a cutlass through a stormy sea! In his short time at the helm, he and his matey Elon Musk, that landlubber billionaire, have been settin' sail to terminate leases fer federal buildings, leavin' our good citizens stranded and their vital services adrift.These scallywags be cuttin' loose the very establishments where fine folk handle Social Security and Medicare, makin' it a treacherous voyage fer those in need. As of March 6, 2025, the so-called Department of Government Efficiency (or DOGE, fer short) claims to have severed 793 leases, creatin' chaos amongst the crew of federal workers! ’Tis a right mess, I tell ye!
But fear not, for the winds o' change be blowin'! As they sell off government ships and toss aside leases, transparency be harder to find than buried treasure. The closures be makin' it more difficult fer the good people of Illinois to get the aid they need, and the impacts be hittin' the common folk hardest, not the greedy captains of industry!
So hoist the flags, me hearties! We must demand better from those who sail our ship o' state, fer the common man deserves a fair wind at his back, not a storm o' greed and confusion!