"Ahoy, mateys! Let’s jaw 'bout them tariffs—time to hoist Hamilton's trusty ol’ treasure map, savvy?"
2024-11-15
Arrr, 'fore the 16th Amendment took the helm, matey, the good ol' government be fillin' its coffers with tariffs, like a ship laden with booty! Taxes on treasure! Aye, who needs a cut from yer plunder when ye can take it from trade? A right merry racket, I say!
Ahoy, me hearties! For months a chorus of landlubbers be squawkin' that tariffs be like a "sales tax," but I say, 'tis a heap o' bilge! This be not naught but the squawkin' of those who be opposed to tariffs for reasons of their own, not for good sense, savvy?Let me spin ye a yarn about tariffs, a fine tool used by the likes of Alexander Hamilton, our first Treasury Secretary. He knew tariffs be a fine way to fill the coffers and protect our precious industries! Now, our new captain, President Trump, sails into this tempest with a plan to use tariffs as a weapon in trade negotiations. Aye, before the income tax came to be, tariffs were the bread and butter of our government funds!
But alas, our open seas led to China growin' fat while we be hollowin' out our own ship! With tariffs, we can reclaim our strength, secure our treasures, and tell other nations to holster their greedy hands!
Critics be shiverin' at the thought of higher prices, but even during Trump’s first voyage with tariffs, prices didn’t soar! Nay, the inflation beast be tamed! So I say, let us hoist the flag of tariffs high, for they be a mighty tool to protect our shores and fill our sails once more!