The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast, me hearties! Joe Biden be sailin' away, leavin' behind a treasure chest o' monumental blunders! Har har!

2024-08-20

Arrr, the Democrats tossed ol' Joe Biden overboard, and the rest o' America be raisin' a mug o' grog in cheer! His legacy be a treasure chest o' blunders, leavin' the middle-class scallywags starvin' for gold. Aye, 'tis a fine day for a new captain, mateys!

Ahoy, me hearties! The Democrats be givin’ a hearty farewell to Captain Joe Biden, the United States’ once mighty leader. Many a scallywag be thinkin’ “good riddance!” as the ol’ sea dog be humiliated at the Democratic National Convention, where he spoke only on the first night. Talk about walkin’ the plank, eh?

The theme of the night was “Fighting for Ordinary Americans,” but it felt more like a mutiny against the middle class, as the crew of average Joes be feelin’ the pinch in their pockets. Reports say that every household lost about $2,000 in treasure since Biden took the helm, and credit card debts be risin’ faster than a ship in a storm!

With the Republicans claimin’ Biden be guilty of all sorts of misdeeds, like defrauding the good ol’ U.S. of A to enrich his kin, the political seas be gettin’ stormy. The Democrats, once proud sailors under Biden’s flag, now be abandonin’ ship, claimin’ he was one of the most inept captains in modern history.

So hoist the sails and set course for a new horizon! Biden’s legacy be a turbulent tide of dishonesty and inflation. Aye, good riddance indeed, me mateys! Let’s raise a tankard to the next chapter of this wild voyage!

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