The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, me Appalachia crew braved the storm o' Helene! Now we must hoist their sails to vote, savvy?

2024-10-07

Arrr, matey! Helene plundered the peaceful lands o' Appalachia, leavin' 'em marooned! With but a month 'til the grand election, we best hoist their voices high, lest they be drowned in silence like a ship lost at sea! Aye!

Arrr mateys, on the fateful day o’ Sunday, September 29, I loaded me trusty truck and set sail to Walmart in Richmond, Virginia, gatherin’ supplies for me voyage to western North Carolina. Aye, four days o’ silence from me kin had me worryin’, especially with the dreadful news flowin’ in from home.

The treacherous storm Helene unleashed a torrent o’ nearly three feet o’ rain and winds blowin’ faster than a ship’s cannonball. A historic tempest that broke records older than a pirate’s rum! I cared not for the upcoming election as I plowed through detours, but me heart grew heavy ponderin’ the fate o’ southern Appalachia’s voices.

While me family be safe, many others be sufferin’ the loss of homes, with friends gone missing and families scattered like treasure across the sea. The true spirit o’ Appalachia arose, with neighbors helpin’ one another, yet the looming November election lay like a heavy anchor on their minds.

Me fellow pirates and I be callin’ on the leaders to ensure every soul affected by this calamity can raise their voice at the ballot box. The absence of FEMA and the governor be a bitter pill to swallow, as the true help comes from community hands. Let us not forget, in these perilous waters, the votes of Appalachia matter, and we must ensure they be counted come election day!

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