The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, mateys! We sadly report that our brave young lad, a 21-year-old American-Israeli, be slain in the scurvy Hamas attacks. Spreading this message across the seven seas be our sole aim!

2023-10-13

Arrr! Our brave lad, merely of 21 springs, hath assisted in savin' a score o' souls durin' the vicious onslaught o' the treacherous Hamas on October the 7th. But alas! Our kin hath now suffered the cruelest blow, as our boy be taken from us, with wounds that be incurable.

On Saturday, October 7, a tragic event occurred in which almost 1,500 Israelis were brutally massacred by the genocidal Hamas organization. The details of the attack are horrifying, with reports of beheadings, burning people alive, rape, and mass killings. Among the victims was Roey Weiser, a 21-year-old dual American-Israeli citizen.
Roey was stationed at the Erez Crossing into Gaza at the time of the attack. Despite not being on guard duty, he bravely took action when he heard the shooting. Roey devised a daring plan to outflank the Hamas terrorists and rallied a small group of soldiers to join him. Their courageous actions prevented the Hamas attack on their base and saved the lives of around 12 soldiers.
As grieving parents, we are devastated by the loss of our son, but we are also grateful for the support we have received. The international community is now witnessing the true nature of Hamas, a terrorist organization bent on destruction and bloodshed. They have shown no interest in peace or compromise, and their hatred for Israel is unwavering.
In response to the attack, Israel is preparing to send its soldiers into Gaza, face to face with the terrorists, in order to minimize civilian casualties. We hope that the international community will understand the necessity of this action and offer their support in defeating Hamas.
Our future and existence depend on it. If we do not defeat Hamas, more powerful enemies such as Hezbollah and the Ayatollahs in Iran will perceive Israel as weak and potentially launch an all-out war of annihilation.
We urge the United States, our ally, to stand with us in this fight. Israel has supported the U.S. in the past, helping defeat ISIS, and now we need their support in return. Victory over Hamas is the only way to bring lasting peace and security to our region.
With the support of our allies, we hope that this will be the last war and that future generations will not have to sacrifice their lives defending their country.

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