The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, Hunter me hearty, no sugarcoatin' this—ye be guilty as a scallywag caught with stolen treasure!"

2024-09-05

Arrr, matey! Law scribe Jonathan Turley be claimin' that Hunter Biden's last-minute "aye aye" to guilt be naught but a crafty trick to dodge the noose 'til the clock strikes! A fine game o' cat and mouse, I say! Avast, 'tis a slippery sea of shenanigans!

Arrr, mateys! It be a fine tale of one Hunter Biden, who stood in a courtroom, spillin' the word "guilty" like a parrot squawkin' for crackers! Nine times he uttered it, aye, finally facin’ the music he be long dodgin’! Five years past, he told a crafty reporter to “say it nicer,” but the winds of fate turned against him!With his sugar brother Kevin Morris, who be fundin’ his lavish escapades, Biden thought he could sail through the storm. But lo and behold, the lad made a ruckus, demandin’ an Alford plea—a sly move to accept evidence without admitting guilt, like a pirate claimin' treasure he never found!The prosecutors were left scratchin’ their heads, takin' umbrage at the lad's shenanigans. He left the court, guilty as a landlubber caught stealin' from the chest! With a history of chaos and entitlement, he tried to charm his way through, but his bravado led him to a treacherous shore.In the end, Hunter's tale be a cautionary one for all ye scallywags out there—face yer shipmates and the law with honesty, or ye might find yerself swimmin’ with the fishes! So raise a tankard to accountability, ye rogues!

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