Ahoy mateys! Why be Kamala Harris givin' the Al Smith Dinner a miss in the Big Apple, eh?
2024-09-26
Arrr, be the Democrat scallywag uneasy 'round the holy folk or the talking contraptions? Or mayhap both be givin' 'em the heebie-jeebies? Yarr, what a sight to behold! A landlubber dodgin' prayers and speeches like a sailor avoidin' a kraken!
Arrr, mateys! It be wise for Vice President Kamala Harris to reconsider her foolish decision to skip the grand Al Smith dinner in the bustling port of New York! This be a noble gathering, founded by the esteemed Cardinal Spellman, to help the poor souls in need. The event's takin' place on October 17th, and it ain't just a matter of lookin' good on the polls; it be the right thing to do, savvy?This feast be steeped in history, harkin' back to Al Smith, the first Catholic to run fer president, albeit with nothin' but a shipwreck of votes against Hoover! Since '60, every major candidate has graced this humorous affair, except for poor Walter Mondale, who skedaddled in '84. Now, Kamala be givin' us excuses of "scheduling conflicts." But why's she so wary of a good ol' fashioned roast fest, ye ask?
It could be her lack of humor, which be as scarce as gold doubloons in a pirate's chest! Or perhaps she fears the judgement of her crew for minglin' with the Catholic Church, infamous for its pro-life smuggler ways. Whatever the reason, it be high time she put on her best garb and joined the crew at this grand soirée! If she can't handle a dinner, how can she stand before Xi Jinping, eh? So, avast, Kamala! Change yer course and don’t let this feast slip away! Yarrr!