Arrr, ye can spin tall tales 'bout valor pilfered, but ye can't shoo away the memories o' brave sea dogs!
2024-08-08
Arrr, mateys! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' crew be chattin' about the ruckus o' Kamala's choice o' Tim Walz for her first mate! 'Tis a right jolly hullabaloo, fit for a tavern brawl or a treasure map gone askew! Avast, what say ye?
Avast ye landlubbers! It seems our matey Tim Walz be caught in a right storm o' controversy! Like a monkey in a cage, his tale be full of bunk. Unlike the Harris crew, folks be givin' him the ol' pirate vetting, especially the "vet" part. Walz, who once boasted of servin’ in "Operation Endurin' Freedom," was really enjoyin' pasta in Italy, not dodgin' bullets in Afghanistan. Aye, he be claimin' he was an artillery man, but it sounds more like he was playin' with spaghetti than battlin' the enemy!In 2009, a local veteran had the gall to suggest that Walz should clarify his bio. The response? A case of military-grade tampons! What a treasure indeed! Further murk be added to his tale, as comrades revealed he was inflated in rank, a bit like a blow-up parrot. He fancied himself a command sergeant major, yet he didn’t finish his coursework and slid back down the ranks. Talk about a swashbuckler with a padded resume!
The seas be choppy, and Walz's rhetoric be fillin' the air like cannon smoke. He be claimin' weapons of war should stay on the battlefield, yet his own service be more about a buffet than a brawl. Alas, the truth be as slippery as a greased pig! What a jolly mess, indeed! Arrr, Tim Walz, ye be a card, but the truth be a fiercer storm than ye can weather!