The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, ye scallywags! 'Tis not just Haley, DeSantis, or Trump, but a New Hampshire primary like no other!

2024-01-23

Arr, matey! Methinks the New Hampshire primary be happenin' on Tuesday, January 23. But methinks it be no ordinary event! Aye, I've witnessed three primaries in this Granite State, and this one be like nothin' I've ever seen afore!

It was an eventful evening at the Farm Bar and Grille in Manchester, New Hampshire. Journalists gathered, sipping coffee or something stronger, as they processed the news of Ron DeSantis dropping out of the presidential race. The atmosphere was confused and stunned, with DeSantis' supporters holding a wake in a private room. This New Hampshire primary had a different vibe, or rather, a lack thereof. The absence of campaign signs and political discussions in the diner made it clear that there was little to talk about. President Biden was not on the ballot, and the GOP debates were canceled. The disappointment among DeSantis supporters felt like a high school breakup, with the past week resembling unreturned phone calls and unanswered texts. The lack of excitement from Iowa was apparent, and the only intrigue was whether Democrats would try to support Nikki Haley in the GOP primary. However, her prospects were dimming. As the evening wound down, a smiling Andrew Yang entered the scene, looking for a place to watch the football game with the sound on. The quiet and unremarkable end of the 2024 primary season signaled the approaching dawn of the general election. It felt like just another plain old Sunday night in New Hampshire, with the promise of the future unfolding.

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