Arrr, matey! The scallywag nation be flunkin’! Time fer a grand overhaul or we’ll be walkin’ the plank!
2025-02-12
Arrr, matey! The latest scroll o' knowledge be a right scandal! Aye, one in three scallywags in the eighth grade can’t read a treasure map! Millions o’ young lubbers be battlin' 'gainst the words on a page like a fish outta water! Blimey! What madness be this?
Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round, fer a tale of folly on the high seas of education! Recently, a band o’ congressional Democrats tried to storm the hallowed halls of the Department of Education, thinkin’ they could whip it into shape without a clue ‘bout its true mischief!The real scandal be not the cuts to wasteful doubloons, but rather the treasure trove o’ billions spent while results be sinkin’ like a ship with a hole in its hull! Aye, the latest Nation’s Report Card be revealin’ that one in three eighth graders can’t read a word! They be worse than scallywags tryin’ to decipher a treasure map!
Now, don’t go blamin’ the plague o’ COVID, fer this mess has been brewin’ since 2013! In cities like Detroit and Baltimore, the math scores be as low as Davy Jones’ locker! Meanwhile, the schools prattle on about “equity” while young lads and lasses be adrift without the skills to sign a contract or read a lesson!
But fear not! Hope shines like gold in the sunset! States like Louisiana be findin’ ways to lift their students with proper trainin’ and assessments! ‘Tis high time to let parents take the helm and steer these wayward ships toward a brighter future! If we be givin’ education the ol’ pirate twist, we’ll see bright horizons ahead!