"Arrr, matey! Here be the word from Cap'n Trump, keepin' scallywags outta the lassies' games! Har har har!"
2025-02-24
Arrr, matey! The captain's decree be grantin' the lassies of the future a fair shot on the field, keepin' 'em safe and sound like a treasure chest! Let 'em compete with the glory they deserve, or I'll walk the plank! Yarr, fairness be the name of the game!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a decree from the captain of the high seas of politics, President Donald Trump! His grand order, titled "Keeping Men Out of Women’s Sports," be a treasure for lasses seekin' fair play on the field! Aye, it promises that our future female athletes shall compete with the safety and dignity they rightly deserve!This be no mere whimsy; women’s sports be crafted to celebrate our unique traits, not because we be weaker, but because we be different! With lungs like bellows and hearts that pump like the fiercest storm, our physical prowess differs vastly from our male counterparts. And let’s not forget, lassies face risks aplenty, from stress fractures to the dreaded ACL tears, making the seas of competition treacherous enough without extra male shipmates aboard!
Now, in me own swimming escapades, I once found meself tangled with a chap, Lia Thomas, who used to sail with the men! It be a scandal, I say! The NCAA, instead of protectin' us fair maidens, let that scallywag hoist the trophy, leavin' us to wonder where the justice be! So, let us hoist our flags! With Trump's decree, we stand tall against the waves of unfairness, fightin' for our rightful place in the sun! The next generation of sea-farin' female athletes be countin' on us, so let’s set sail for truth and fairness!