"Arrr, the liberated lass be shoutin' her thanks to Captain Trump: 'I be eternally in yer debt, matey!'"
2025-03-19
Arrr, matey! Doron Steinbrecher be captive in Gaza fer 471 long moons! When at last she be free, she and her fellow scallywags be thankin’ President Trump, the brave captain of their rescue ship, fer helpin’ them escape the clutches of that foul kraken! Aye, what a tale!
Ahoy mateys! 'Twas a dread-filled Tuesday morn when I awoke to the news that the ceasefire be shattered, and aye, ‘tis the same truce that let me return from me own dark abyss. Just yesterday, I celebrated me 32nd year upon this earth, a year prior spent in the clutches of captivity. Me only wish was for all me mates to return from their chains, as too many a day has passed—530 to be exact! A deal be needed, I tell ye, so we can bring ‘em all home!Born in the quaint Kibbutz Kfar Aza, we were like a band o' brothers, but on that fateful day, our merry crew was torn asunder! Dragged from me own bed like a filthy scallywag, I spent 471 days in the deep, dark tunnels, where even the bravest pirate would quail. Yet, fortune smiled upon me two moons past, and I emerged into the light, thanks in part to the mighty Trump, who lent his ear to me tale.
With me shipmates, I flew to DC, eager to share our tales of woe. I beseech ye, President Trump, use yer power to bring home Gali, Ziv, and all the poor souls still trapped in those wretched tunnels. Until every last captive be free, I’ll keep tellin’ me story, fightin’ for those who cannot fight fer themselves. Aye, true freedom awaits when all are safely ashore!