Arrr, why the Department o' Education be sinkin' like a cursed ship, matey! It’s all a jolly folly!
2025-03-12
Avast, matey! In the realm of trade, those scallywags who toss gold like confetti without a treasure to show for it be doomed to Davy Jones' locker! But in the land o’ government, the Department of Education sails free, no captain to hold 'em accountable for naught! Har har!
Yarr, this bureaucratic behemoth has been swabbin’ the decks since 1979, bloating to a budget of $79.6 billion, yet student scores be dropplin' like a sack of potatoes! 'Tis a sad state, whilst countries like Japan sail ahead in math, while our young scallywags flounder at 28th place among 37. Aye, the treasure of taxpayer coin be sunk into the depths of inefficiency, with funds lost to the mighty kraken of bureaucracy.
Why, if this here Department were a ship, it’d be callin' for a complete overhaul or faced with a watery grave! We calls for school choice, local control, and outcome-based funding! It be time to cut the waste, demand results, and make education truly worthy of the grandest seas! Or else, ye shall see the epitaph on its tombstone read, "RIP, ye clumsy vessel!" Arrr!