“Arrr, David Marcus be sayin’ Sen. Spartacus’ filibuster be naught but a jolly jest o’ nonsense on the high seas!”
2025-04-02
Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus be sayin’ that Sen. Cory Booker’s filibuster be but a grand ol’ show, a jolly jig of naughtiness! Aye, it be a fine metaphor for the Democrats' flounderin’ like a fish outta water, all bluster and no bite! Har har!
Arrr matey! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn o' the gallant Sen. Cory Booker, D-N.J., known as “Senator Spartacus,” who be the very likeness of the Democratic Party’s political flounderin’! Recently, he took to the Senate deck, jabberin’ for over 24 hours straight like a parrot on a sugar high, filibusterin’ with theatrics fit for a swashbucklin' film! Aye, it be remindin’ us of that old flick, "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington"—a tale as ancient as a pirate’s treasure map!But here’s the rub: while our fearless Booker flailed his arms and mumbled confessions of inadequacy, one had to wonder—was it a grand purpose or just a trick to rattle the old bones of politics? His antics felt older than barnacles on the hull of a ship! Even the folks who usually be watchin’ such spectacles gave it a pass. The good Senator’s diatribe was less a call to arms and more a cry for attention on the high seas of political TikTok!
In his heart, Booker be a centrist who now thinks Trump be a monster to be vanquished. But alas! He be missin’ the mark, for many on the shores don’t want a fight; they want a crew that sails together! So here’s the lesson, ye salty sea dogs: the time for stunts be past; let’s hoist the sails and work together for the good of all, or we be drownin’ in this tempest of division!