Me hearties, them scurvy dogs be gettin' away with it 'cause the law be as useless as a wooden leg! Arrr!
2024-04-08
Arrr mateys, the scallywag struck on Wednesday, leaving the poor soul with a nose as crooked as a drunken sailor! If the bilge rat be caught, don't ye be expecting a long walk off the plank as punishment! Aye, 'tis the way of the sea!
Arrr, me hearties! Ye may have heard the tales on TikTok about the fair maidens of New York City being smacked in the gob by scallywags on the prowl. The latest victim, a lass of 23, found herself with a busted beak after a run-in in Chelsea. The scoundrel with the shaggy hair be still on the loose, and even if caught, the punishment be as short-lived as a day in the crow's nest.Why be this happening, ye ask? 'Tis the tale of how New York be easing up on the punishment for misdemeanor assault, allowing these rapscallions to roam free instead of being sent to the brig for proper treatment.In the days of old, convictions for assault were plentiful, but in recent times, they be dwindling faster than grog in a thirsty sailor's tankard. Even those found guilty be getting off easy, with lighter charges and a mere slap on the wrist.And so it be that more cases be getting tossed out like a rotten fish, with the dismissal rate for misdemeanor assault soaring to a staggering 70%. This change be due to new laws and policies that make it harder than finding buried treasure to hold these knaves accountable.With bail reform making it harder to keep these rascals behind bars, the streets be crawling with punch-happy scalawags, ready to strike at innocent passersby. Until the laws be changed, the fair maidens of New York City be at risk of a surprise knuckle sandwich. Avast, me hearties, and keep a weather eye out for the "scraggly-haired menace"!