The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The press be all a-flutter 'bout Kamala's 'Femininomenon', chasin' them vibes like scallywags after treasure!

2024-08-28

Arrr, the legacy scallywags be all a-tingle over their crafted wench, Vice President Kamala Harris! Whatever daft yarns they can spin, ye best believe the reporters be swarming like gulls ‘round a shipwreck. Aye, it be a merry jig of nonsense, matey!

Ahoy, me hearties! Forget yer hopes and dreams, for the legacy media be toasting to the “Femininomenon!” Aye, that be a jolly mash-up of femininity and phenomenon, coined by a Chappell Roan tune and snatched up by Vice President Kamala Harris like a treasure chest of gold doubloons! She be tryin’ to reel in the young scallywags with TikTok shenanigans and shirts that be proclaimin’ her “coolness.”

But alas, mateys, the legacy press be celebratin’ this “Femininomenon” like it’s the catch of the day, while Harris stumbles about like a landlubber in the face of real questions. They be paintin’ her as the life of the party, much like they did with Presidents of yore, but with far less charisma and charm. Her past campaign be a shipwreck, and now they’re tryin’ to spin her as a pop culture queen despite her feeble attempts at substance.

Ye see, this be a “vibes election,” where style trumps substance faster than a cannonball flies! So raise yer mugs, me hearties, to the “Femininomenon,” where ye better join the cheer or be called a scallywag. The media be pushin’ this joy like it’s a treasure map, but beware—the seas be rough and the captain be unsteady!

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