The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Ahoy! 'Tis mornin’ glory, where we be makin' mediocrity the new treasure, savvy? Aye, let the incompetence sail!"

2024-08-01

Arrr, matey! The Trump crew be settin' sail to chart the waters of Kamala Harris's reputation. Fear not, 'tis no Herculean task, for her image be as clear as a glass bottle in a stormy sea! Raise a toast to easy plunderin'! 🍻🏴‍☠️

Arrr, mateys! Gather ‘round fer a tale of one Kamala Harris, the Vice President who be branded as “Weak. Failed. Dangerously liberal!” by the former Captain of the ship, Donald Trump. Aye, this here be the slogan that be hammerin’ her reputation in a thirty-second spot, and it surely be makin’ waves 'twixt now and November!

Since they tossed Joe Biden overboard, ol’ Kamala hasn’t dared to face a proper journalist, which be a sign she’s shiverin’ in her boots! If her crew had a lick o’ faith in her, she’d be battlin’ the Trump Campaign’s claims instead of hidin’ in the brig. But nay, they know one slip o’ the tongue, and she’ll have the delegates at the Democrat Convention boltin’ like scallywags.

Those who once sailed with Biden be relieved he’s gone, but whispers be echoing about a “compressed primary,” with party elders not givin’ a hoot for Harris as a candidate. Poor gal! She can read a teleprompter like a true buccaneer, but when it comes to speakin’ off the cuff, it be a comedy of errors, leavin’ all in stitches—nervous ones, mind ye!

As the winds of change blow, she must soon face the press. If she chooses wisely and pairs with a clever matey like Governor Shapiro, she might make a splash, but alas, the tides be against her! The electorate won’t be fooled again, and if she doesn’t start talkin’ soon, her ship might just sink before it sets sail! Arrr!

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