The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Three reasons why them lefty scribes be havin' a fit 'bout Kamala's endorsements bein' scuttled, arr!"

2024-10-29

Ahoy, matey! The scallywags at the Post and Times have spun yarns 'bout Trump bein' the devil himself! Yet, even the landlubbers who fill their coffers be naught convinced! Arrr, what a jolly jest it be!

Avast, ye landlubbers! In the days of yore, when a newspaper be givin' its nod to a presidential scallywag, it made a great ruckus! But now, silence be the new loud, as ol' journalists and their lefty mates expect the papers to hoist the Democrat flag as usual! Arrr!

As we sail into the stormy seas of the 2024 election, the media be failin' on the neutrality front. The Los Angeles Times and Washington Post, with their liberal crew, planned to endorse Vice President Kamala Harris, but alas, it be canceled! So, naturally, chaos erupted like a cannon blast. They’ve spent ages portraying Trump as the Devil himself, yet the treasure chest remains empty, for even their paymasters have their doubts!

Billionaire Jeff Bezos, master of Amazon, owns the Post and confessed that the ship be sinking in credibility! He declared the cancelin’ of endorsements a step towards redemption, though he be makin' enemies. Meanwhile, USA Today joined the mutiny, sayin' they’ll stick to givin’ the facts! Aye, the tide may be turnin’ against the leftist bias of the press, and the crew be shakin' in their boots!

With journalistic tempests brewing and celebrities threatenin’ to cancel subscriptions, the whole affair be a merry spectacle! The New York Times, however, still waves the flag for Harris, claimin' she be the “Only Patriotic Choice.” In truth, the real piracy be the media’s lack of honesty, and they be afraid of the winds shiftin’ in favor of Trump! Arrr!

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