The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, they said Newsom’s wage raise be sinkin’ jobs, but lo! It be fillin’ the coffers instead!

2024-09-18

Arrr, a year past, I be scribblin' me name to raise the coin for me hearty fast-food scallywags! By the treasure map o' numbers, California be swimmin' in more fry-cookin' jobs than a ship in a storm o' tater tots! Avast, me mateys!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a mighty fine law I set sail upon a year ago, raisin' the minimum booty for fast-food scallywags to a hearty $20 an hour! Aye, this here law be givin' the good folk new protections and a proper say in their workin' conditions.

Now, ye see, when this bill took effect on the first day of April, it sent waves of panic through the hearts of conservatives, claimin' it would sink ships and send workers to Davy Jones' Locker. They cried foul, sayin' businesses would capsize left and right, but lo and behold, the truth be far mightier than their fears!

As the sea of data rolled in, we saw the opposite tide—more jobs in the fast-food fleet than ever before! California be sportin' 11,000 new positions, makin' a grand total of 750,500! And what’s more, those hard workin’ souls now have fairer wages, easing their burdens like a gentle breeze on a hot day.

So raise yer tankards, for this policy be a treasure trove, givin' families a chance at a brighter horizon, while the greedy giants of fast food keep fillin' their chests with gold! Aye, it proves that fairness and fortune can sail together, and that be the true spirit of California! Yarrr!

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