The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! In Penn's woods, Kamala's ship be sinkin', and even the scallywags be smellin' the stench!

2024-10-23

Avast, me hearties! I've been scuttlin' 'round the shores, and I be tellin' ye, no matter what the scallywag polls be spoutin’, ol' Trump’s got the wind in his sails in Pennsylvania! I ain't sayin' it be all wrapped up, but this be more than just a fair breeze!

Arrr mateys, gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a jolly fellow named Perry from North Carolina, whom I crossed paths with in the quaint town of Carlisle, Pennsylvania. This landlubber be a consultant in his thirties and a conqueror o' the Appalachian Trail! He be thinkin' that Vice President Kamala Harris be losin' her sea legs, wishin' she’d be clearer 'bout her true self.

Perry's got a soft spot for Harris, sayin’ he likes her more than ol’ Captain Biden, but he ain't blind to the ship sinking. Democrats lately be mum like sad Mets fans, lickin’ their wounds after a rough season. Just two moons ago, they were high as a kite, celebratin' Harris as the chosen one. But now, they be quiet as a church mouse!

I met another scallywag named Ryan, a former soldier and Trump loyalist, who knows nothin' of Harris. As I chatted with a housekeeper named Nicole, a Harris fan, she set sail for Trump if given a hundred doubloons! The winds be blowin' Trump’s way in Pennsylvania, mateys, with hope in the air, but Harris be a ghostly figure, lost in the fog of politics!

In the end, Perry be seekin' clarity, and Harris needs to find her compass before she be lost at sea! Arrr, it be a fine pickle for the Democrats, I tell ye!

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