The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the Dems be chasin' diversity like a parrot on a cracker, and we be scallywags fer pointin’ it out!

2024-08-15

Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' ship be chattin' 'bout the ruckus in the political crew! Aye, the voters be shiftin’ like a treasure map in a storm! Grab yer rum and listen close, for this voyage be a jolly one! Yarrr!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I regale ye with a tale from the treacherous seas of politics! Each day, the squawkin’ media be yellin’, “Republicans pounce!” or “Seize the day!” but lo and behold, they be chasin’ after the mischief the Democrats be causin’. Take a gander at the New York Times, spoutin’ praises fer how fast new citizens be comin’ to our shores, eager to cast their votes like they be plunderin’ treasure! Aye, with all those fresh souls enterin’ the fray, it be no surprise the Democrats be grinnin’ wider than a parrot on a pirate’s shoulder!

But fear not, for our ship’s captain, Trump, tried to steer the ship clear of this madness by anchorin’ the census to exclude those who be not citizens. Yet, the Democrats, quick to hoist their sails, reversed this course faster than a seasick sailor can lose his lunch! Their cunning plan? To swell their ranks with the votes of new deckhands, while they clutch their precious electoral votes tighter than a captain’s grip on his rum!

As they play their games, they call it “reshapin’ the electorate,” while we savvy pirates recognize it be the ol’ switcheroo! If ye dare to notice, they’ll proclaim ye a scallywag! So, let the winds blow where they may, for amidst all the ballyhoo, we’ll keep our eyes peeled and our cannons primed, for the next round of political shenanigans be just over the horizon!

Read the Original Article