The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Ahoy! What Obama's tall tale can teach o' Kamala's newfound middle ground, matey! A merry jest, indeed!"

2024-08-29

Ahoy, mateys! Today, the good folk o’ America be ponderin’ how well V.P. Harris can spin a tall tale, as she tries to sail from a San Francisco wench o’ progress to a blue dog centrist, savvy? A right jolly transformation, I dare say! Arrr!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of political shenanigans! Back in the year of our Lord 2008, a swashbucklin’ lad by the name of Barack Obama set sail on a campaign, claimin’ he was against gay marriage 'cause the Good Book told him so. But lo and behold, in a tome released in 2015, his matey David Axelrod spilled the beans about him lamentin’, “I’m just not very good at bulls---ing.” Aye, he was a right fine spinner of tales!

Now, as we look to the horizon, we be wonderin’ how crafty Vice President Kamala Harris be with her own capers. She’s been flippin’ ‘n floppin’ more than a fish outta water on issues like buildin’ walls and frackin’. Aye, voters be raisin’ their eyebrows, suspectin’ she be pullin’ the same stunt as Obama!

Just like a sailor tellin’ tall tales, Harris may be playin’ a game of “ye can’t trust me” with the folks who recall her previous stances. The Democratic crew might be smilin’ at the ruckus, thinkin’, “As long as she wins, who cares?” But beware, for the undecided sea-dogs may not be so easily swayed! If the winds of history be blowin’ true, Harris be as slippery as a wet deck, and the tides may turn on her comeuppance!

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