The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, we're a crew of Democrats! Biden be a scallywag fer pardoning Hunter; now he should free Trump, savvy?

2024-12-05

Arrr, matey! Biden’s pardon o’ his own spawn be a fine jest, blowin’ a hole in the tall tales that Democrats sail smoother than Republicans on the seas of law and honesty. Aye, it be a raucous game o’ pirate politics, where fairness be walkin' the plank!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout President Joe Biden, who be throwin’ a full pardon at his scallywag son, Hunter, for all manner o’ misdeeds, including taxes and gun folly! Aye, we Democrats be feelin’ the sting of disappointment, fer what be a captain without his crew’s trust?

Now, I shan’t deny ol’ Biden’s right to pardon, but this here move be like sailin’ into a storm with no map! It be undercutting our mighty party, makin’ us look as crooked as a three-masted galleon in a whirlpool. We’ve long bellowed about the rule of law bein’ important, yet here we be, givin’ credence to Captain Trump’s claims that justice be a fickle wench.

Even the crew in his own party be hootin’ and hollerin’ about this decision! Colorado’s Gov. Polis and Sen. Bennett be callin’ it a dirty shot, tarnish’n the captain’s good name. What Biden’s done be like settin’ sail with a hole in the hull! And what a fine mess it creates for us to fight against Trump’s shenanigans when we look as guilty as a sea rat in a treasure chest!

So let’s hope this Hunter pardon fades into the depths o’ history, or else we might find ourselves in the brig for our own folly! Arrr!

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