The Booty Report

Ahoy! President Trump be swingin' his mighty quill, sendin' forth a grand decree! Blimey, what mischief awaits us!

2025-01-23

Arrr matey! The high court be havin' already proclaimed the ancient words of the 14th Amendment and the Civil Rights Act o' 1964! Now, the crew o' originalists be a hearty band o' six strong, ready to sail the seas of justice! Avast, fairness be afoot!

Avast ye landlubbers! Gather round as I regale ye with a tale of that scallywag, President Donald Trump, who on Tuesday, with a flourish, scrapped the antiquated order by old Lyndon B. Johnson that be favorin' "countin' by race." Aye, Trump’s new order be singin' the praises of the glorious Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the noble 14th Amendment, like a shanty sung by the finest buccaneers!

Ye see, Johnson’s misguided voyage set sail a treacherous course, but Trump be wieldin’ the Constitution like a trusty cutlass to set it straight! No longer shall ye be judged by the color of yer skin or the faith ye hold dear; nay, the law now be a fine ship, sailin' on the seas of equality!

This ain’t no conservative or liberal frolic, mateys! It be the Constitution speakin’ true! The 14th Amendment, ratified back in 1868, claims all hands on deck shall face no penalties for immutable traits! Aye, it’s a raucous time for the likes of Harvard or even yer local tavern!

And should any landlubber dare challenge this order, let them beware, for the Supreme Court, built by Trump’s merry crew, stands ready to defend the winds of constitutional change! Huzzah to the cap’n who signed it!

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