The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, I be a landlubber from afar! I’ve counted me doubloons—let’s swab the decks of this immigration mess!

2024-09-20

Arrr, matey! The squabble 'bout immigrants ain't all about doubloons, but they be a hefty chunk o' the treasure map! I be crunchin' the figures, and blimey, they be showin' the US could strike gold or sink to Davy Jones' locker with a trillion-dollar folly!

Arrr matey! Gather ‘round for a tale of immigration on the high seas of the U.S.A. It seems the good folk of America be thinkin’ that immigration be a scourge upon their shores. Polls show more landlubbers wish to shackle both legal and illegal immigration, whilst the presidential parley be more focused on whether pirates—err, I mean immigrants—be eatin’ dogs! But fear not, fer I’ve plundered the treasure trove of research on this matter.

Now, listen well, fer it be said that college-educated immigrants be causin’ the coffers to overflow, potentially savin’ over $300,000 in taxes over their lifetimes! However, those without a fine education be weighin’ down the ship, costin’ the U.S. taxpayers dearly. Aye, the illegal scallywags comin’ ashore be leakin’ gold like a ship with holes, and they be a burden on the treasury!

In me scholarly findings, I declare, a wise immigration policy be needed—one that favors the learned and young, while keepin’ the scallywags at bay! By raisin’ the number of skilled worker visas and lettin’ the bright young minds stay, America could cut down on the deficit and sail smoother waters. So hoist the sails for a better immigration strategy, or face financial ruin on this stormy sea! Yarrr!

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