The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Los Angeles be dreamin' of a car-free Olympiad in 2028—more like a treasure map to Davy Jones’ locker!

2024-10-04

Arrr, matey! This summer, Tom Cruise swashbuckled the gaze o’ the world from Paris to Los Angeles with his wild antics! But now, all eyes be settin' sail to the LA Olympic crew and that scallywag Mayor Karen Bass. Aye, what a jolly show it be!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale o' Tom Cruise, the swashbucklin' star who drew all eyes from Paris to Los Angeles with his audacious antics at the Olympic closing ceremony! But lo, the real treasure lies with Mayor Karen Bass and her crew, who’ve but four short years to whip LA into shipshape fer the grand games!Alas, the task be daunting, as this city be grapplin’ with crime, homelessness, and infrastructure as brittle as an old ship’s mast! The grand plan? A “car-free” Olympics where ye best leave yer trusty vessel at home, matey! Bass be plannin’ to unleash 3,000 buses upon the streets, but the seas be choppy—only a handful o’ transit projects be seein’ the light o’ day.With LA sprawlin’ across 469 square miles, ye can bet yer doubloons that public transport will struggle like a fish outta water! And while the mayor spins visions of a car-free paradise, the reality be riddled with safety concerns and a transit system fraught with peril, makin' the promise of a seamless journey more like a mirage on the horizon!So hoist yer sails, for it seems a car-free Olympics be naught but a fanciful dream, a grand jest played by the powers that be! Arrr!

Read the Original Article