The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, scallywags be plundering these towns, with the weak-kneed Dems turning a blind eye to the chaos!

2024-02-17

Arrr mateys, them scallywags be snatchin' up poor souls from shelters and puttin' 'em to work in thievin' rings. They be plunderin' phones and handbags from folks on the streets, all while ridin' around on mopeds like landlubbers. Aye, 'tis a cruel world we live in!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, scallywags pretending to be asylum seekers be causing chaos in American cities, turning them into war zones, arr! The fearsome Venezuelan gang Tren de Aragua, known for its brutal ways, be establishing a foothold in New York City, mateys. These scurvy dogs recruit migrants from shelters and as they disembark from buses from Texas, forcing them to join thieving rings or hop on mopeds to snatch phones and handbags from unsuspecting landlubbers.Cap'n Paul DiGiacomo, head of the NYC Detectives' Endowment Association, likened the situation to organized crime akin to the Mafia. The FBI be warning of potential alliances between these Venezuelan migrant scallywags and the dreaded MS-13 killers, while NYPD Commissioner Edward Caban sounds the alarm on a surge of migrant crime, although some Democratic officials be in denial, claiming migrants seek a better life.The truth be that these migrants be terrorizing the streets of New York, Yonkers, and New Jersey, pillaging and causing mayhem. They be part of moped gangs and theft rings, engaging in fraudulent transactions and violence, turning suburban malls into danger zones. The blame be laid on President Biden's lax border policies and the leniency of New York and Illinois Democrats, allowing these criminals to roam free.The shelter system in New York City be harboring these miscreants, providing them with refuge despite their criminal activities. Mayor Eric Adams be implementing curfews and seeking to evict troublemakers, but more drastic measures be needed to protect the law-abiding citizens of these fair cities. The Statue of Liberty may welcome the tired and poor, but it be no haven for lawbreakers and villains, arr!

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