Arrr, this year’s March Madness be a raucous sea of Red State scallywags makin’ waves, matey!
2025-03-26
Arrr, matey! The horizon be as gloomy as a stormy sea for them blue state scallywags! ‘Tis said by Rivals that a hearty 28 of the finest young hoopsters hail from them fiery red territories. Aye, the ship be sinking, and the treasure be buried deep!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round fer a tale of shame, as the mighty Northeast has relinquished its crown as the grandest treasure trove of riches in the land o’ America! Aye, the Southeast now hoists the gilded flag, with Florida, Texas, and North Carolina stealin’ away the plunder. With a net gain of 2.5 million scallywags in recent years, the Southeast be swarmin' with life, while the Northeast be emptier than a ship’s hold after a raid!Our trusty crew at Unleash Prosperity has charted the course of this migration, where businesses and landlubbers be settin’ sail from high-taxed waters to the sunny shores of lower taxes and easy regulations. But hark! It ain't just a tale of coin—our colleges be sportin’ their own woes, as the South claims 17 outta 20 national championships, leavin’ blue states cryin’ into their grog.
This year’s NCAA tournament be a riot, with 15 of the final 16 teams hailing from Trump’s domain! Once, the mighty UCLA ruled the seas of basketball, but now, the blue states be drowned in mediocrity, while the red states bask in glory, attractin’ the finest young talents. So raise yer mugs, me mateys, for the Southeast be takin’ the lead, and the blue states be left in the dust! Arrr!