Ahoy! I be Deb Fischer, seekin' Nebraska's vote fer the Senate to plunder the treasure o' good governance! Arr!
2024-10-29
Arrr! When I first set me sails for the Senate, I vowed not to be naught but a squawkin' parrot on the telly! I buried me noggin in the toil, and by me cutlass, I’ve brought treasure to Nebraska, savvy?
Arrr mateys! T’was a fortnight past when I, yer humble scribe, docked at the Hy-Vee grog shop on Pioneers Boulevard in Lincoln, after a long voyage meetin’ the good folk of North Platte, Kearney, and Grand Island. In me travels, I crossed paths with an elder buccaneer who spun a tale of woe ‘bout his gold coins runnin’ dry, makin’ it hard to purchase basic grub like milk, eggs, and a hearty slab of beef.“This ain’t the future I be expectin’!” he lamented, before askin’ me to “fix that damn border!” Aye, our good Nebraskans don’t ask for much – just a fair chance to raise their kin and fill their bellies without sellin’ their ships! But alas, the treasure chest be lighter these days, with families shellin’ out an extra $1,140 a month for the essentials.
With more scallywags comin’ to our shores than there be fish in the sea, the seas be rough and the plunder scarce. I promised to be a workin’ lass in the Senate, pushin’ for safer streets and sounder trade deals, yet I be feelin’ the heartache of me fellow sailors. So raise yer flags, Nebraskans! With a new captain at the helm, we shall steer towards a brighter horizon for our wee ones! Yarrr!