The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! The good ol' US must face them scallywag terrorists, and the Congress be shiverin’ in their boots!

2025-03-28

Arrr, matey! A scallywag named Ari Fuld met his doom at the hands of a devilish Palestinian buccaneer. Now, his kin be seekin’ justice on the high seas of the law, takin’ their case to the Supreme Court to see if it be fit for the ship o' constitution!

Arrr, matey! The good ol' US must face them scallywag terrorists, and the Congress be shiverin’ in their boots!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round and lend yer ears to a tale as tragic as a sailor's lost gold! Last month, the knave who took the life of brave Ari Fuld, a swashbuckler from the States, found himself walkin’ free! Aye, Ari, a devoted father of four, sailed to Israel in the '90s and fought for his kin, until a dastardly villain, a Palestinian scallywag, stabbed him in the back at a bustling market. Though he put up a fight, the grim reaper claimed him too soon.

Now, here’s the kicker: that scoundrel’s family be swimmin’ in doubloons thanks to the “pay-for-slay” scheme! Aye, they be cashin’ in hundreds o’ dollars for their vile actions! The Fuld crew, not ones to let injustice sail by, be rallying forth, demanding their day in court. They’ve got a legal cannon aimed at the Supreme Court, fightin’ for the right to make those dastardly terrorists face the music!

But wait, there’s more! Congress be lookin’ to pass a bill to put an end to this outrageous bounty on the heads of innocents! If it be a fair fight, then every rogue who takes a life should face the consequences! So, hark! Let justice prevail, lest we let these sea rats continue their bloody deeds without fear!

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