The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, USAID be sailin' the woke seas and sunk their own ship, matey! What a jolly mess!

2025-02-07

Arrr, matey! USAID sailed the seas o' obscurity ‘til now, when scallywags be grumblin’ in the limelight! This fine crew went all woke-like, and now they be riskin’ the treasure chest runnin’ dry! Aye, what a jolly mess it be!

Arrr, USAID be sailin' the woke seas and sunk their own ship, matey! What a jolly mess!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale of the U.S. Agency for International Development, or USAID, which be a scallywag of a ship in the tempestuous sea of politics! Critics be callin' its demise a calamity, but I tell ye, it be already sunk like a ship with a hole in its hull.

This agency, meant to dispense treasure in the form of foreign aid, lost its compass long ago, swayin' to the whims of radical ideologies. When Captain Trump took the helm, he declared the crew of USAID a band of "radical lunatics," halting their aid voyages and steer'n 'em straight into the State Department under Captain Rubio's command.

Once a noble ship built to combat the Red Pirate of Communism, USAID traded its true course for the siren songs of social agendas, promotin' all manner of craziness, includin' population control and various ideologies that would make Davy Jones himself shiver. Even in the face of criticism, the crew demanded their distorted courses be followed, leadin' to cries of "systematic racism" and worse!

As the winds of change blow through the Senate, USAID's days be numbered. It seems the treasure chests of taxpayer gold be better spent on local sailors rather than these highfalutin elite! Now, the scallywags must learn to sail straight once more, or face the wrath of the tides!

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