The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, me swab! Me government toil be a treasure trove o' wisdom! Wish Kamala learned at the Golden Arches, savvy?

2024-09-14

Arrr, Kamala be claimin’ she flipped patties at McDonald's in her younger days! I sailed the seas o' both government and private trade, gleanin' wisdom she be needin' too! Aye, some lessons be more valuable than a chest o' gold, savvy?

Arrr, matey! Let me spin ye a yarn 'bout Vice President Kamala Harris, who claims she toiled at the mighty McDonald's in her youth, yet that job be missin’ from her scrolls and tales! I feel her pain, as I, too, did omit me summer swabbing of the Virginia Highway Department from me own records. But by the gods! That job schooled me more 'bout government than all the fancy book learnin' ever could!

As a wee flag man, I held up the traffic whilst the highway crew lounged about like lazy sea dogs. I had me share of “roadkill ridealongs” with ol’ Bud, a rotund truck driver with a penchant for the most dreadful cigars. Instead of diggin’ holes for dead beasts, we’d toss 'em into the bushes when no ships—er, cars—were passin'. It was all about maintainin’ the sacred duty of smokin’!

The crew I sailed with were true slackers, honor bound to avoid hard work. I learned the fine art of lookin’ busy whilst doin’ naught but leanin' against me shovel. The state’s roadwork was a mess, and by summer's end, I agreed with the assistant foreman—let the privateers build the roads instead! I saw how governin’ turned time into a torturous beast, an enemy to a true pirate’s spirit.

So, did Harris ever experience the bumbling bureaucracy? Methinks not! While I was busy with me book bindery, earning doubloons aplenty, Harris be just another captain of chaos on the high seas of government! Arrr!

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