The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Ye scurvy dogs at Columbia, Yale, and NYU be nothin' but pro-Hamas landlubbers, not true free speakers! Arrr!

2024-04-26

Arrr mateys, we must be mindful of the scurvy dogs spreading antisemitism like a pox upon the seas. Since the dastardly attacks by those villainous Hamas scallywags, the sightings of antisemitic hate have surged like a kraken in the U.S. Aye, we must be vigilant!

Avast ye landlubbers! What be happenin’ at Columbia, Yale, Michigan, New York University, and other college campuses across the country ain’t no mere protest, but a violent, pro-Hamas mob threatenin’ and attackin’ Jewish students with their vile antisemitic hate. This be not acceptable in America, and no university should allow such harassment on their grounds.Ye may have heard the foul chants of "death to America," or seen the violence inflicted upon Jewish students by these scurvy protesters. Antisemitism must be taken seriously, especially after the despicable attacks by Hamas that left over 1,200 dead and 200 hostages taken. The Anti-Defamation League reports a 360% increase in antisemitic incidents in the US, mateys.Allowin’ any space for antisemitic speech be akin to Germany in 1933. These scallywags be no different from the terrorists they support when they call for harm to Jewish folk. If they truly cared for the Palestinian people, they would demand Hamas release them from oppression, or surrender to end the conflict with Israel.The Biden administration must follow in the footsteps of President Truman and root out antisemitism to show true American leadership in combating this evil. Actions against these protesters must be swift and strong, for tolerating such hate and violence is both wicked and illegal. If universities won’t protect Jewish students, the federal government must intervene.Supporters of these universities must speak with their doubloons and cease fundin’ institutions that fail to safeguard Jewish students. Antisemitic speech should not be tolerated, for allowin’ such hate to grow threatens the very freedoms we hold dear. May we all stand against this vile scourge and protect the rights of all.

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