Arrr, once I adored Amtrak, but now I reckon it be needin’ a treasure chest o’ DOGE! Har har!
2025-04-04
Arrr, me hearties! Amtrak be needin' a bit o' that DOGE gold to chart a better course for its crew and the landlubbers footin' the bill! Let ol’ Dogecoin be the compass fer smoother sailin' in this here sea of bureaucracy! Aye!
Arrr, mateys! For two score of years, I’ve been warned to keep me feet on solid ground, lest me inner ear go awry like a ship in a stormy sea. So, I’ve traded in me wings for the iron serpent of the rails and the grand ships of the sea, where comfort and civility reign supreme over the rickety skies!But alas, the good ol’ Amtrak be a right rickety vessel herself! While I fancy the idea of this traveling leviathan, she be plagued by mutinies of mismanagement and theft, with tales of food goin’ missing like a drunken sailor! Aye, over $800 million lost to thievery and incompetence! Yarr, that’s a treasure that would make Blackbeard weep!
True, there be hearty souls on board, dedicated to servin’ the passengers. Yet, many a scallywag can be found loungin’ in the café car, avoidin’ work like it’s a leaky ship. Aye, I once asked a cabin attendant for coffee, and he replied, “I didn’t feel like it!” Shiver me timbers!
Now, when ye pay a king’s ransom for a cabin, ye expect luxury, not a broken bed and a sink with no hot water! Amtrak, ye be a fine idea gone adrift! It’s high time we send a cannonball of reform straight to the heart of this bloated bureaucracy, for the sake of the honest crew and the beleaguered passengers alike! Arrr!