Arrr, matey! The Democrats be sailin’ the seas o’ whimsy when it comes to the lawbreakin’, aye!
2024-10-17
Arrr, matey! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' deck be in a right uproar, claimin' the FBI be shiverin' their timbers with "fudged" crime tallies! Blimey, it’s like countin’ treasure with a blind parrot! Aye, let the jestin' begin, or we'll be walkin' the plank!
Ahoy, me hearties! A jolly Happy Thursday to ye! So, hear ye the tale of Kamala Harris bein’ interviewed by Brett Baier last night; the poor lass floundered so badly that FEMA tossed her a measly $750! Aye, even Jimmy Carter be wishin’ he could reclaim his vote! Kamala was late to the shindig, claimin’ she was finishin’ her happy hour – savvy moves fer a captain, I'd say, but alas, Brett had to preen his hair like a parrot instead.When asked ‘bout Biden’s noggin droppin’ like a cannonball, she quipped “Joe ain’t on the ballot.” Aye, that’s true. Just as if ye run over a crossing guard and say, “Who cares? He be dead now!” 'Twas a sight to behold! And let’s not forget Sonny Hostin fretin’ that Kamala ventured into the belly of the beast – we feared for her life, thinkin’ Whoopi might’ve taken a bite!
Now, gather ‘round fer news on the crime stats! The FBI be switchin’ their tales like a sailor in a tavern, claimin’ violent crime hath risen, not fallen, under Biden’s watch. Blimey! Dems be as clueless as a fish on dry land, thinkin’ crime be down while demandin’ more gun control. They be livin’ in a fantasy, like a ship lost at sea! So, raise yer tankards, fer the truth be out there, and it be our duty to remind ‘em lest they drown in their own lies!