Arrr, matey! Tom Cotton be needin' to plunder more treasure—big foundations should walk the plank for that endowment tax!
2025-03-31
Arrr, me hearties! The grandest treasure chests of private foundations be not free from the taxman’s grasp, lest Congress be swayed to extend the 2017 booty act! Let 'em pay their due, or we be sending the tax collector to plunder their plunder!
Arrr matey! The winds be howlin’ through the halls of Congress, as the scallywags be ponderin’ how to plunder those hefty treasure chests known as university endowments. With Ivy League coffers swellin’ to the tune of billions, it be a ripe target fer those lookin’ to fill the king’s coffers without raisin’ the dreaded tax rates! Senator Tom Cotton, the sea dog of Arkansas, be suggestin’ a one-time tax to rake in $16 billion from these hoity-toity institutions.But hark! There be another crew of treasure hoarders that be needin’ a good look-see: the private foundations! These landlubbers, like the Ford and Rockefeller Foundations, be sittin’ on vast riches—almost as much as a pirate’s dream—without havin’ to face any market storms. JD Vance, a bold buccaneer in the political seas, be callin’ them “cancers” on society, fundin’ their radical notions with ill-gotten gold.
With foundation assets swellin’ to over $1.5 trillion, Congress be considerin’ a tax on these ill-gained riches to fund a treasure not only for the rich but for all! Let’s hope they don’t forget the common folk, lest charitable givin’ become a luxury fit only fer the wealthiest of rogues. So, hoist the sails and let’s see if Congress can navigate these treacherous waters! Yarrr!