The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Avast ye! Ten pesky queries to plague the Democrats on this fine Election Day, savvy?"

2024-11-04

Ahoy mateys! As the election tide be risin', ten troublesome queries be settin’ the scallywags of the Democrat crew a-quakin’. Top o’ the list be the curious capers o' Kamala and Joe—what mischief be they up to, I wonder? Arrr, the seas be gettin' rough!

Avast ye scallywags! A year past, the Democrats thought a Trump nomination would sink the Republican ship, stirring their crew to a merry victory come Election Day. But lo and behold, they be waking up to a tempest of their own makin’! Were the party's higher-ups settin’ Biden on a course to fail, or were they just blind as a bat to the captain's floundering? Why did they agree to such an early debate, like sailors jumpin' into shark-infested waters?

Now, with Kamala Harris at the helm, shipmates be wonderin’ if they’ve lost the wind in their sails. This lass can’t connect with the crew or articulate a proper battle plan! Shouldn’t they have run a mini-primary to find a swashbuckler fit for the fight? And what of shifty characters like Governor Shapiro – would they have been better off with him or the so-called "knucklehead" Walz?

As the Democratic ship takes on water, they ponder if they truly grasp the spirit of the sea-faring folk. Polls show their crew be dwindlin’, with discontent brewing among union mates, minorities, and the youth! They be callin’ Trump supporters “garbage,” but perhaps that’s the very barnacle weighin’ down their vessel. So here they be, adrift, wonderin’ if their captain should’ve just kept mum to let the first mate shine!

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