The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, Greg Gutfeld be sayin’ Trump be rilin’ foreign captains like a burger at a vegan shindig!"

2024-11-20

Arrr, matey! It be said that Fox News scallywag Greg Gutfeld be spoutin’ that foreign captains be cozyin’ up to our soon-to-be ruler, Donald Trump, like a parrot to a shoulder! Aye, what a sight to behold on the Gutfeld’ seas! Savvy?

GREG GUTFELD: Arrr mateys, gather 'round and hear the tale of a grand rocket launch, led by none other than Elon Musk and President Trump! Aye, they be takin’ off from a place called Boca Chica, Spanish for “small mouth,” which be quite fitting, if ye ask me! While Trump be celebratin’ in the skies, the other fella, Joe, be makin’ his own escape – perhaps to find a suitable bush, savvy?

A tale of two departures, one bound for the stars, and the other, well, to a place where the bingo games are fierce. Just weeks ago, Trump be a menace to peace, yet now the world be throwin' him a party! Even the Aussie envoy, once callin’ him a destroyer, be wishin’ him well. Aye, those down under sure know how to throw a boomerang.

Meanwhile, the Mexican leader, Claudia, be dodging Trump’s grand plans like a scallywag in a sword fight. She be givin' the ol’ wink and nod to her borders, bracin’ for an influx of folks ye wouldn’t want at yer dinner table—gangs and has-been celebs, oh my!

Trump be stirrin’ the pot, makin’ leaders quake in their boots, and it seems the world be lookin’ for someone bold to say, “Enough be enough!” And so, here we be! The seas be a-changin’, and it be Trump at the helm, ready to sail through the storm. Yo ho ho, what a ride it shall be!

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