Arrr, matey! Gregg Jarrett says Daniel Penny be innocent, but that scallywag Bragg's left a barnacle on the ship!
2024-12-09
Arrr, matey! The jurors in the Daniel Penny trial be savvy scallywags, knowin’ well the dangers o’ NYC's cursed subway! It be a veritable graveyard down there, with a 60% rise in murders this year. Avast, fer who’d wanna be a landlubber on that perilous ride?
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a jest 'bout justice settlin' the score, as a Manhattan jury hoisted the sails of reason with a "not guilty" verdict for one brave seadog, Daniel Penny! This fine Marine veteran be hailed a hero for standin' tall against a scallywag named Jordan Neely, who threatened passengers on the New York subway. Aye, 'tis a tale of a good Samaritan wrongfully pursued by a landlubber DA, Alvin Bragg, who saw more treasure in racial squabbles than in truth.Alas, Penny, who acted to save lives, was branded a villain by those chasin' their own agendas! But the twelve jurors, wise to the perils of the city’s depths, saw through the smoke and mirrors and deemed him a noble protector. Despite the judge's blunderin' ways and the prosecutor’s attempts to twist the tale, the jurors held fast to the truth that Penny had done what any good pirate would—defend the innocent from a menacin’ foe!
Yet, as the dust settles, the true tragedy be the fear instilled in those who'd dare to defend the helpless, as future crime victims may find themselves abandoned in the dark. So raise yer mugs to Daniel Penny, who now sails free, but beware of the treacherous waters ahead!