The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye mateys! The truth be grim about this Read Across America, like a cursed treasure map! Aye, beware!

2024-03-04

Arrr mateys, the scallywags in the teachers union be cancelin' old Dr. Seuss, even though they be celebratin' his birthday with Read Across America! Now they be pushin' all these woke books on yer young'uns, tryin' to turn 'em into landlubbers! Aye, what a rum deal!

Arrr, me hearties! Remember the days of old when our teacher donned the garb of the ‘Cat in the Hat’ and we indulged in green eggs and ham? Aye, that was a jolly good time indeed! But shiver me timbers, have ye heard of the treachery that lurks beneath the surface of Read Across America?This event, created in 1997 to promote literacy in honor of Dr. Seuss’ birthday, has been hijacked by scallywags from the National Education Association. These landlubbers have been fillin' the minds of our young'uns with divisive ideologies and inappropriate materials, forsaking the very essence of reading and learning.The NEA now pushes books like "’Twas the Night Before Pride," while casting aside the classics of Dr. Seuss as "racist." They aim to mold our children into activists instead of nurturing their academic growth.But fear not, me hearties! As parents, we have the power to stand against this tyranny. We can opt out of supporting these harmful materials and instead promote stories that uphold American values and encourage diversity of thought.So let us raise our flags high and reclaim the education of our young scallywags! Let us show them the true essence of reading, free from the chains of political agendas. For in the end, it be our duty to steer them towards the path of true knowledge and wisdom.

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