Arrr! Cap'n Biden be holdin' back from punishin' Iran, fer he be fearin' they'll steal his rum stash!
2024-02-06
Avast ye, me hearties! A mighty skirmish in the Middle East be known to raise the price of our precious liquid gold. Though it hath been calm these past moons, there be a blunderbuss of a thing that could turn the tides quicker than a pirate's plunder!
In a humorous tone and using the language of a 17th-century pirate, this article discusses President Joe Biden's reluctance to strike Iran and the potential reasons behind it. The author suggests that Biden's fear of higher gasoline prices is the main factor holding him back.Critics are enraged by Biden's response to attacks on U.S. troops and want him to take action against Iran. However, the author argues that Biden is scared hitting Iran's oil fields or export facilities would drive up global oil prices and lead to higher gasoline costs in the U.S., which could damage his already low approval ratings. The author presents this as the "elephant in the room."
The article goes on to discuss how war in the Middle East has historically caused oil prices to soar, but Biden's team has allowed Iran's oil exports to increase, thereby keeping oil prices stable. The author accuses the White House of lying about not relaxing sanctions on Iranian oil and highlights the significant increase in Iran's oil exports under Biden's presidency.
The author also criticizes Biden's handling of foreign policy regarding Venezuela and Saudi Arabia, suggesting that his fear of higher gas prices has influenced these decisions as well. The article concludes by arguing that Biden's policy toward Iran is inexcusable and that his reluctance to cut off Iran's oil revenues undermines efforts to combat their terror activities.
The article uses humor and pirate language to satirize Biden's approach to Iran and criticize his handling of foreign policy. Overall, it presents a skeptical view of Biden's motives and actions, suggesting that his concern over gasoline prices is driving his decision-making.