The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, 'tis I, Bernie Moreno! Hear me tale, I be needin' Ohio's vote for the Senate, savvy?

2024-11-01

Arrr, matey! I’ve sailed the seas o’ the American dream! Came ashore at five, earned me papers, and hoisted me sails to riches. But now, I fear the ship be takin' on water! So, I be tossin’ me hat in the ring for the Senate, savvy?

Ahoy, me hearties! On the fifth day of November, the good folk of Ohio be settin' sail to the polls, searchin' fer change like a treasure map! I be thankful fer all the fine Ohioans I met on this two-year voyage, ready to hoist the sails of a new era!As a wee lad of five, me parents brought me to this fair land, not for the ease, but to seize the American dream! With sweat and grit, any scallywag can claim that prize. Yet, I’ve witnessed those landlubber politicians steerin’ our ship into stormy seas, endangerin' our dreams with reckless spendin' and open borders, lettin’ chaos run amok!Aye, I be runnin' for Senate, for like me fellow Ohioans, I fear the course we take! The ultimate pirate of politickin'? Sherrod Brown! The ol' sea dog’s been collectin' treasure from the taxpayer without ever settin’ foot on a hard day's work! He talks of fightin' fer the dignity of work, but I say he be lost at sea!So, as we prepare fer the great ballot battle, I ask ye, brave Ohioans, do ye want to put America first or let it sink? Let’s chart a new course to prosperity and strength on the high seas of the world stage! Vote for me, and I promise to always keep Ohio’s flag flyin’ high!

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