The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, scurvy dogs be makin' older folks walk the plank fer no reason! Study says CRC screenin' be questionable!"

2023-10-21

Arrrr! A scurvy study be sayin' that them old sea dogs what be nearin' their final sail often be gettin' checked for the cursed colon cancer. But, methinks there be some doubloons of worry 'bout this here screenin' bein' too much for 'em. Avast!

Arr, matey! Avast ye! A recent study has uncovered a peculiar trend among us landlubbers with a limited time left to roam the high seas. It seems that many of us scallywags be partakin' in colon cancer screenings, and it's got the scurvy dogs in the medical community quite concerned!

Arr, now ye might be wonderin', what be the issue with such screenings? Shouldn't we be all for preventin' the dreaded scurvy that be colon cancer? Well, me hearties, the problem be that these screenings may be a waste of time and resources for those who have already set sail on their final voyage.

According to this study, conducted by some clever folks known as the Medscape Medical News, it appears that many of us old salts who be facin' a limited time here on this mortal coil be gettin' screened for colon cancer despite the fact that it may not do us much good. Now that be a waste of precious doubloons, don't ye think?

Now, I'll admit, the thought of someone pokin' around me booty with all sorts of instruments may not be the most pleasurable experience, but if it be savin' me life, I'd be willin' to endure it. But if me days be numbered, what be the point?

So, me hearties, the moral of the story be this: if ye be a pirate with a limited life expectancy, perhaps ye should think twice before settin' sail for a colon cancer screening. Save yer doubloons for more important things, like rum and loot!

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