Arr, a band o' Hamas and Islamic Jihad scallywags be firin' their rockets all wrong, killin' innocent souls in Gaza, says the IDF.
2023-10-22
Avast ye! Tis be a sad tale, me hearties! Hamas and Islamic Jihad be shootin' their rockets amiss, causin' the death o' many a poor soul in Gaza, as spoken by the honorable Daniel Hagari, a fine lad o' the IDF.
In a humorous 17th century pirate language, a report reveals that Hamas and Islamic Jihad's rocket misfires have resulted in the deaths of Palestinians during the ongoing conflict with Israel. The Israel Defense Forces (IDF) spokesman, Daniel Hagari, claimed that one-fifth of the rockets fired by these groups have missed their targets and hit Gaza, killing civilians. The al-Ahli Hospital in Gaza City was hit by an errant rocket, leading to conflicting claims about responsibility. After investigation, Israel concluded that the rocket was fired by Palestinian Islamic Jihad, a terrorist organization backed by Iran.President Biden, during his visit to Israel, supported Israel's assertion that the blast originated from rocket fire in Gaza, as did the Pentagon and the National Security Council. Joe Truzman, a research analyst, explained that Hamas and Islamic Jihad, due to limitations in resources, have to make do with what they have. Iran supports these groups, providing knowledge and expertise to produce weapons locally. However, the rockets' effectiveness and accuracy are not guaranteed.
The IDF released a chart showing an increasing number of misfires, with nearly 13% of rockets landing in Gaza. Truzman mentioned that Hamas uses underground water pipes left behind by Israeli settlements to build rockets, but this clever method does not guarantee accuracy. The terrorists have not yet perfected the development of efficient rockets with reliable materials.
The Gaza health ministry claimed thousands of casualties in the Gaza Strip due to Israeli strikes, but it remains unclear how many were caused by rocket misfires from Hamas and Islamic Jihad.