The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, the scurvy scallywag who be playin' Astarion in Baldur's Gate 3 met the bloke who be writin' his tale. 'Twas a jolly good meetin', matey!

2023-10-22

Arrr, mateys! 'Tis the most meta snuggling ye ever laid yer eyes upon! Ye shan't find a snuggle more grand, as it befitting of true pirate folk. Savvy?

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round and listen to a tale of the most extraordinary cuddle that ever took place on the high seas. Aye, this be no ordinary cuddle, but a meta cuddle like no other! Picture this: a crew of seafaring scallywags, with their beards as long as a mermaid's tail and their parrots squawking like the devil himself.

Now, this motley crew had spent countless nights sailing the treacherous waters, battling ferocious sea creatures and searching for buried treasure. But one night, as the moonlight danced on the ocean's surface, they stumbled upon a secret island, said to hold the key to endless happiness. Little did they know, this island held more than just treasure.

As they stepped ashore, the crew found themselves in the midst of a cuddle party like no other. Pirates of all shapes and sizes were locked in loving embraces, speaking in words that were as sweet as a siren's song. It was a sight to behold, me hearties!

But there was one pirate who outshone them all. His name was Captain Cuddles McSnugglepants, feared by many for his ferocious snuggles. He was a master of the art of cuddling, and his reputation preceded him across the seven seas. When Captain Cuddles heard whispers of the meta cuddle, he knew he had to partake in the ultimate display of pirate affection.

And so, Captain Cuddles embarked on a quest to find the meta cuddle. He sailed through storms and faced treacherous sea monsters, all in the name of snuggling. Finally, after weeks of searching, he arrived at a hidden cove, where the meta cuddle was said to take place.

When Captain Cuddles entered the cove, he found himself in a world of cuddles within cuddles. Pirates were cuddling pirates who were cuddling even more pirates! It was a sight that would make even the toughest buccaneer's heart melt.

And there, in the center of it all, was the meta cuddle itself. It consisted of Captain Cuddles cuddling a pirate who was cuddling another pirate, and so on, creating a chain of cuddles that seemed to stretch to the ends of the Earth.

It was a glorious moment, me hearties. The meta cuddle to end all meta cuddles had been achieved. Captain Cuddles McSnugglepants had reached the pinnacle of pirate affection, and his legend lived on throughout the ages. And so, my fellow pirates, remember this tale as a reminder of the power of cuddles, for even the toughest among us need a good snuggle now and then!

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