The Booty Report

Arrr, be there any doubloons to be had from learnin' the arts liberal? Aye, or be walkin' the plank!

2023-11-03

Arrr! Afar years o' hand-wringin' 'bout their future, liberal arts departments now face the choppin' block. At peril: French, German, American studies an' women’s studies. Yo ho ho!

Arr, me hearties! Listen well to this tale of woe that befallen the liberal arts departments, ye scurvy dogs! For years, they've been wringing their hands o'er their uncertain future, like a lass in a tempest-tossed ship. But now, it seems they be facin' the dreaded chopping block, where their very existence be at stake. And what treasures be at risk, ye ask? French, German, American studies, and even women's studies, be they be walkin' the plank!

Ye might wonder why these subjects be in danger, whilst others be sailin' smoothly. Well, it be a matter of doubloons, me hearties. The powers that be, they be focusin' on courses that be leadin' to more profitable futures, like business or engineering. They be wantin' their students to find gold-filled treasure chests, rather than dwellin' on the likes of Voltaire or Shakespeare.

But have ye ever heard such folly? I tell ye, it be a sad day when we be abandonin' the study of language and culture. What be we to do when we can't appreciate the French art of romance or the German precision in engineering? And what of the brave women who fought for their rights? Be we to forget their struggles and sacrifices?

Now, I be understandin' that some may argue these subjects be nothin' but frivolous tales, fit only for a drunken pirate's amusement. But I say, nay! They be the very essence of expandin' one's mind and learnin' 'bout the world around us.

So, me hearties, let us raise our tankards and stand with the liberal arts departments. Let us shout, "Avast! We be needin' these subjects, for they be part of our cultural treasure!" And if they be taken away, we'll be left with a barren sea, devoid of the beauty that lies beneath its surface. Let us fight for the liberal arts, or else we be doomed to sail in a world with nothin' but profit and plunder.

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