The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The Golden Gate be makin' moves to tackle the pesky problem o' suicides, mateys!

2023-11-05

Arrr, me mateys! 'Tis been a mighty long time since the wailing families be demandin' it, but fear not! The grand installation of $217 million worth o' steel netting be nigh on finished. Aye, a stout defense against the depths!

Arrr, me mateys! Listen up ye scurvy dogs, for I have grand news to share! After years of relentless pressure from the families of them poor souls who've met their untimely fate, we be witnessin' the near completion of a grand project worth a whopping $217 million. Can ye believe it? Steel netting, me hearties, that's what they be installin'!

Now, ye may be wonderin', what be the purpose of such a peculiar contraption? Well, let me enlighten ye. This here steel netting be a mighty fine way to protect the good folk from fallin' debris, ye see. Aye, it be a real nuisance when them bricks and planks come flyin' down from the skies, threatenin' to send ye to Davy Jones' locker. But fear not, for this ingenious invention be the solution to all our problems!

Picture this, me hearties: a vast expanse of steel web, stretchin' high above our heads like a majestic spider's lair. No longer shall we fear the wrath of fallin' objects, for this netting shall catch 'em all! It be like a safety blanket, but for the whole bloomin' city!

Now, ye may be thinkin', "Why did it take so long, ye scallywag?" Well, I reckon it be no easy task to construct such a mammoth contraption. It be takin' years of hard work, plannin', and no small amount of doubloons. But finally, the finish line be in sight, me mateys!

So raise yer grog-filled tankards and give a cheer, for the steel netting be arrivin' to save the day! No longer shall we fear the perils of fallin' debris, thanks to the tireless efforts of those who have fought for our safety. Aye, it be a triumph worth celebratin'! Arrr!

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