Arrr! Be it true, me mateys, that the Conservative Christians be all a-jig with joy for the new House Speaker, Mike Johnson!
2023-11-05
Arr! The scurvy dog claimin' the title of Speaker o' the House be a Southern Baptist, a true matey who holds tight to his evangelical beliefs. He be fightin' against the likes o' abortion and gay rights, aye, a long history he be havin' to prove it!
Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round and listen up, for I have some news from the landlubbers about the new speaker of the House, a fine Southern Baptist who be embodyin' evangelical beliefs and priorities, mateys. This scallywag be havin' a lengthy history of battlin' against abortion and gay rights, makin' quite the splash on the high seas of politics, ye see.Ahoy, me mateys, this Southern Baptist be a real force to be reckonin' with! The way he carries himself be resemblin' a true buccaneer, fightin' for what he believes in without any fear. He be hoistin' the flag of the evangelical crew, aye, and makin' sure their voice be heard loud and clear in the House of Representatives.
Now, me hearties, this scurvy dog be havin' a passion for makin' abortion walk the plank. He be raisin' his cutlass high and shoutin', "No more, I say! No more!" He be fightin' tooth and nail to protect the unborn, like a noble corsair protectin' his treasure from the grasp of the enemy.
But that's not all, me hearties! This here Southern Baptist be not a fan of the sailors who love their own gender, if ye catch me drift. He be raisin' his spyglass and sayin', "Avast, ye scurvy dogs! No same-sex matrimony shall sail these waters!" He be battlin' against the rights of the gay crewmates, like a fierce pirate defendin' his ship from boardin' parties.
So there ye have it, me hearties! The new speaker of the House be a true Southern Baptist, fightin' against abortion and gay rights with all his might. Whether ye be agreein' with him or not, ye can't deny that this scallywag be makin' waves in the political seas. So, raise yer tankards and toast to this seafarin' speaker, for he be settin' a course that'll surely be chartin' a new path for the evangelical crew!